the weigh in

So today was the day that we found out who won. I wanted it so bad. I was pretty nervous all morning and realized that I didn't stand a chance and then I stopped being nervous. I think the part that hurt the most was I was in the top 10 for women, and i lost more than the winner. I knew I worked so hard the last three months.

So after my loss we came home and I cried awhile. Then we left for the mountains. I knew i was going to be worse just sitting at home dwelling on the fact i didn't win. So me and the the three younger boys trekked up in the mountain. We went all of the way to the train tressal. That was a long walk. As we were walking I did a lot of thinking

The first thing i was thinking about was the lady that won wasn't that big and i knew that was going to get me. the second thing I was thinking I really want to be done but where is that going to get me. If I quit now how disappointed my friends would be in me. There is no way my friends would let me quit. the third thing i was thinking is how lucky I am to have such amazing people in my life. You cant take life for granted because you don't know when its going to be over. You have to live your life the best you can.

I had a good talk with my friend Mark the other day. He told me the thing with people like me and him are that we are never going to be happy with how we look. And he is so very right. He doesn't have to be but he is. I've never been happy with how I look and I probably never will be. But once I get down to where I want to be I can accept it and stay positive.

I really wanted to win that Wii but I probably would have just given it away. Just knowing I won would have been such a huge achievement for me. I would have started believing in myself more. But if I stop believing in myself than others will too. And I will not be the cause of that. My friends and family mean to much to me.

March 20th

its been a couple of days since ive been on here. A lot has happened. I am proud to say that I am feeling a lot better. I still cough every now and then but its not that bad. I am down 26 pounds, i think its great but don't know if its good enough for the weigh in. I want this weigh in so bad and sometimes I think I have it in the bag and other times I'm thinking i'm crazy and will look like a fool compared to others. But then I realize I have to keep my head held high no matter what. On Saturday when they announce the winner i will be proud of who ever it is and be proud of myself for coming so far. The changes I've made in my life are huge, and I don't want to go down that path. The stuff I have given up are amazing. And I know that I did my best. Since the beginning of January there has only been a few days where I have not worked out. it does help going to fuel and seeing some friendly faces.

After this week i am not going to push it so hard. I will still do treadmill, work out and go to the spa. but i probably wont take the cardio cuts. I love it but don't want to kill myself taking it.

march 17th

I don't feel 100% better but the pain in my ear is pretty much gone. I also figured out that a 5.3 pace on the treadmill is perfect for me. After 2 miles the sweat was pouring. it felt great. I have a week to my final weigh in and my goal is to lose 7 more pounds. I want it so bad but I know no matter what happens I worked my butt off, and that's what is important. I came in strong and I'm finishing strong. If something knocked me down I got right back up. Weight loss is a journey for life, there is no giving up. If I give up i'm showing the boys that it is okay to give up, I never want them to feel like they cant do something. I look at them and believe they are going to do great things with their life. They just have to believe in themselves.

Monday March 12

Well I'm still not feeling good. I haven't slept the last couple of nights. Nothing I cant handle. Still getting in my miles for my challenge and that's what matters. I'm down a total of 22 pounds. It feels so weird. I haven't been this weight in a really really long time. I would like to be down another 2o if my body lets me. I don't want to push it. I feel good about myself and don't want that to change. well that's it for now.

Maude Canyon again

The boys rocked the mountain today!! They were so excited because they got to pack a lunch and take it up to the Vista to eat it. We hardly stopped on the way up. Every now and then you have to stop just to catch your breathe. That first is really hard. Once you get to the Vista and start comping down its not so bad. Parker only fell a couple of times. He would always say "why is the snow doing this to me". I love that kid. Xander fell on the way down. He just got right back up and kept going. These kids ran down the mountain today. After a little bit of weaving down the mountain Parker says again "Man we just went this way". he sits down and his ready to give up. After he got his drink he was ready to keep moving. And surprisingly that was they only time he said it.

So I decided im going to get ready for a marathon. Ive already been on the go the last two months and i really want to push myself. I dont care if I dont run in the race but i do care being able to do that many miles. Now finding a place where I will be able to do that many miles is going to be the problem. Im going to have to start treadmilling it until I can fully get outside and use nature to its full ability. Ive completed 45.5 miles out of my 100. Once I get close to that I will be using the marathon schedule. I really want to complete the 100 miles in a good amount of time. it will be weird if i can get this marathon training going and being able to put that many miles in on 1 day. No giving up now. Ive come way to far to quit. So might as well keep going as long as this cough goes away. Its very disruptive.

Maude Canyon

I could not wait to get to the mountains today. It was so nice and I knew we had to get up there. I picked the boys up at 3 so we could head up there. They were pretty excited. I brought up snacks and powerade to keep us from not being hungry. On the way up there we took a way short cut. But man was it hard. I had to use the rocks to help me up. The boys just ran up while me and Parker had a harder time. Brayden smoked us all going up there.

I had my garmin on and I think the fastest that we went up the mountain was a whoopin 2.1 mph. The whole way up there isnt even a slight little down hill. I stayed behind parker and went his little pace. There were times that he couldnt even make it up. So I had to lift him to the next section. Considering he is 5 2.1 isnt a bad pace going straight up a side of a mountain.

We made it to the vista and the boys played for awhile. Then it was time to take the plunge to come home. We came home the way through the mountains. It actually was not that bad. Way easier then if we would of had to turn around and went back the way we came. The kids ran all of the way down the mountain. My favorite part was when Parker got ahead and then he fell, and I could hear screaming. I asked Xavier who is that, he told me Parker. by the time we got to parker, he told us that he fell. And then he started running again. he was glad that nothing was broke on him. Then we are taking corners down the mountain and we would go a certain way and Parker would be like "hey we just went this way". Then we would round the next corner walk and take another corner and he would say again "hey we just went this way". He didnt understand that we were weaving our way down to get back to the tracks. Next time I want to take Brayden and Xander and see how they do with just me. I bet we could run the whole time. It was such an awesome day to be up there. I got up to 7.9 mph going down the mountain. It was awesome being able to do things i haven't done in a really long time.

I also got on the scale and I was down another pound. I was pretty happy about that.

So today I get on the scale and I was down another pound!! My throat is still sore but manageable. My shoulder is still hurting but I just have to be really careful. I woke up at 6 today to get some dishes done. I got the boys on the bus and started doing my treadmill. I got 4 miles in in 43:28. When I was done I went to take a drink and it went down my shirt. i figured it was just my luck.

People always ask me how I do it. Well for starters I have not had pop in over 2 months, I haven't had ice cream or bacon. We cut down majorly on how much we eat out. It uses to be twice a week. I think in the last two months its been once total.

I have to remember why I'm doing this. I'm 29 years old and I want to be around for a long time. My kids are little and I want to be able to take them up to the mountains without giving up and turning around. I have to show them that life is worth living and you can conquer the world if you believe you can.

One thing that has really helped me is myofusion. Its a protein drink that i was taking in the mornings. It helped curb my hunger big time. I could take it at 8 in the morning, work out, eat a yogurt at 2 then be good for dinner. Now i'm drinking cardio cuts in the morning to help me burn more calories. its not that bad but once i get to my goal weight I wont take it as much. I want to be in shape, being skinny is not my goal. Going to the spa has also really helped. It makes me feel better about myself when I am done. I have some stretch marks from having my kids and the red light therapy is supposed to help with that. I figured since I'm losing weight I might as well get rid of some of these marks that go with it.

The things that keep me going are my family and friends. I don't know where I would be without them. I feel so blessed to know such amazing people in my life. If you cant lose weight on your own grab a friend do it together, but go at your own pace. Don't be stressed because it wont help.

Remember times are going to be frustrating but don't ever give up, things have a way of working themselves out. Life is worth living, do the best you can and that's all that matters!!

March 7th

Oh yeah baby I am back. I live such a hard life let me tell you. Before preschool I jogged 1.5 miles. I then went to preschool played with 3 and 4 year olds for 2 hours. One of the best things things to do in the world. Then I went to the spa for 2 hours and got in 5 sessions. Then came home and jogged until the treadmill said 3.25. And now I'm sitting on the floor helping parker draw a picture for a teacher he yelled at yesterday. Where do I find time for myself? haha just kidding. Im down 19 pounds and feel great. I feel like im on top of the world except my shoulder still hurts. But nothing is holding me back now.

Have you ever met a man who loved his picture taken more than this guy right here? I think he looks darker by doing the velocity treatments. I made him stand outside because I thought he would appear darker. He also had a little spray tan action going on today. We will keep everyone updated on the darkness of Marty Bob.

Since today was not a good day for exercise i'm making the font cool. I feel like I can barely move. I did get some sleep last night. And also I can raise my shoulder, it only slightly hurts. And I've been taking lots of garlic and peanut butter and i no longer have white spots or dark red on my tonsils. It still hurts to swallow but at least i'm sleeping and eating. I got on the treadmill today and tried to jog at home after walking at fuel, there was no way my body was going to let me move. So I decided it would be better that I walked and didn't kill myself. So total today I did 2.25 miles. Nothing great but I figured it was better than nothing. I'm hoping when I feel better I will be able to just jump back into if i can keep walking while I don't feel good. I was able to go to the Spa yesterday and get a couple of massages. They felt pretty good. I love the aqua massage. it feels really good.

Another note, brayden had to start taking medication. It was really hard for us to put him on it. And its super expensive so i'm thinking this stuff better work. His health comes before anything else. And the nice part is he doesn't have to take it on the weekends and in the summers. His teacher already emailed me and told me that he is doing really good. this medicine should help him focus and help him to become more organized. The best part is he can swallow pills, something that I cant do. he is such a smart kid and I don't like seeing the bad grades on his report card. there should be a big difference in him, hopefully for the best. I will not watch him fail. He is too good of a kid for that.

The 5th of March

So i decided I better take a day off. I haven't taken one off in over 2 months and the way i'm feeling right now it would probably be best. I didn't sleep well last night. I don't know what hurts more, my shoulder or my throat. Its a toss up because they both hurt really bad. The only good thing is that I got 8.5 miles in yesterday so I dont feel guilty for not doing anything today. I got my pillow and blanket and im hoping to get some rest.

Okay March 4th continued

So i figured the boys needed to get out of the house. Maude S. Canyon has been staring me in the face all winter. So today was the day, no ifs, ands, or butts. Even though I already jogged 3.5 miles and i had a really bad sore throat and my muscles were already killing me. But I pushed all that aside and we drove over to the canyon. I was surprised how many vehicles i saw there. So Xander wanted to bring a truck. I told him you pack it in you pack it out. We finally reached the top of the vista. after a lot of negativity. I'm not going to lie, i even wanting to give up a few times. So we made it to the top, took tons of pictures. I told the boys we were camping out because there was no way my legs would allow me to go down the mountain. So on the way down Xander (6) decided to put rocks in the back of his truck. He cried the whole way down about how heavy they were. So I said then get rid of them. He refused. The whole way down he cried and told me how much he hated me. I kept telling him that he was building character by being such a pain. He was only going to get stronger. We finally got to the old tracks and he stopped screaming. We make it down to the bottom of the mountain. By now the wind is really blowing, my feet are like ice. So then Xander says, that was really fun we should do it tomorrow. The boys love to hike so as long as their is no truck involved, i'm game for it. I was using muscles that I have not used in a long time. So now the great part is when I weighed myself i was less then I was this morning. Despite all my aches today i made the decision to get my kids out of the house. They are only going to be strong mentally because of it. I want them to be able to face the world straight in the face and conquer it. They are not going to learn by giving up or by me telling them that its okay to give up. So that's my experience winter hiking up at the canyon. And I would like to mention that I had my hair neatly braided before this trip. The wind was so strong that it didnt stand a chance. Our total journey was 5 miles. Im always amazed that my little 5 year old can walk that far on his own.

March 4th

well today has been a different than usual day. Dreamed that I had a sore throat but didn't want to wake up and find out if I really had one. Guess what?? I did. I also felt dizzy when I woke up too. I guess I was just not ready to face the world. Then Marty writes me on Facebook saying that he lost his phone. Im thinking, are you kidding me?? So I load up the kids and we are driving on the freeway and then I get the phone call. I found my phone it was buried underneath my stuff. So then I had to go through town to get back to the house. I wasn't that exciting about doing the treadmill, but hey who is? So i pushed myself and made it 3.5 miles.

My muscles are extremely sore right now but cant give up yet. My final weigh in for Lighten your Load is right around the corner. it would be great to win it, but i would settle for seeing a huge difference in myself. I just have to keep working on and every month keep setting goals for myself.

Marty Bob- my pork chop

So Mr. Marty has been hitting planet beach. He is doing this machine called velocity that helps bring out your natural skin. So here is a before and after. Before is on the left and after is on the right. I can see that he is darker when i'm comparing them side by side.

the picture on the left is week 2, the picture on the right is almost 2 months later.

March

So now we are in the month of March. its march 3rd today and I weigh 183.6. I dont like sharing my weight but if I want to inspire others I want to show them it can be done. No its not easy but possible. In the last 3 days I've put in 12 miles for my 100 mile for march. That's 88 miles to go and if I keep it up I will finish. There is no material prize but the prize of accomplishment knowing that I started and finished it. So many people have told me that I have been an inspiration to them. To me there are not a lot of greater things to hear to know that I inspire. A good friend told me she worked out Jeni Style. That was great to hear. My goal is to be the best I can be and help others to be the best they can be. I still have a long journey ahead but hope to keep inspiring as my journey continues. I want to help others with their journey and watch them succeed. Its never too late to change the rest of your life.

I also found my Garmin watch to help me track how far I've gone. I'm also logging my miles in excel for 100 mile march This is my time and I will not fail. My advice to others is to keep going, if you cant do it alone ask for help because its okay to ask.

February

So February rolled around and I hadn't lost any more weight. I had been pretty discouraged. The only good part was I hadn't gained any weight either. Marty decided that he wanted to hit the weights. So we have been working out a lot lately together. I used to go back to bed in the morning but decided to go jog instead. And almost every morning I go to Fuel Fitness after I jog. In the month I Feb. I gave up walking on the treadmill and deciding to only jog. My legs wouldn't allow me to walk. Then James Garrison wanted to put on a 100 mile march. Which meant in the month of march it was a challenge to walk/jog/run 100 miles. That was a minimum of 3.25 miles a day. I decided to join because I needed something to keep me going during the month of March. By the end of the month I still hadn't lost anything more but still did not give up. On the 29th a friend Bryan gave me a pass to Planet Beach. I lost a pound just by going there. I also starting taking a drink called Cardio cuts. I took it in the morning starting on the 27th. its purpose was to help me burn more calories, and let me tell you it worked. to be continued...

here is my journey in January

Jan 3rd was the first weigh in for LYL. I weighed a whopping 199 pounds. I know its a lot. And keep in mind that I'm not that tall. In the first week of the challenge I had lost 7 pounds. I remember that I was excited. I didn't keep track of what I starting doing till January 18th. I honestly couldn't tell you what I did before that. I made it a goal to put at least 3 miles in a day on the treadmill. At first I was only walking. I was thinking there was no way I could jog. By the end of the month I was putting 5 miles in on the treadmill with walking and jogging. It was a challenge but it had to be done. I didnt have a choice.

the picture was taken the second week in January.

Life change

So lately life has been a struggle. I finally realized that I needed to make a huge change in my life. We went hiking at the M and didn't realize how heavy I had been. I cropped the picture and saved it to remind me of how not to look. The Y does a challenge called Lighten Your Load. I knew I wanted to do it. I had starting working out again before that but wasn't seeing any results. it was so frustrating to exercise but not see any change. I got my team mates for the challenge. So finally it was time to weigh in for the challenge. I could not believe the number that it said. I wasn't that surprised but couldn't believe I allowed myself to get that much. I knew I had to make a difference because I needed to be there for my family. And now my journey continues